Which Side Are You?

Another year is about to start. Another chapter of our lives have to be lived. Some may be faced with new and unique challenges, while others might just keep on striving to face and live the recent struggles they have.

Some might have lost someone, while others have gained or found a new one. Some might have just promoted to a higher position at work, while some loss their own. Some might be smiling and laughing, and the others are crying. Some are willing to listen and give their shoulders, while some needs one.

Some could tell people they need help, others can’t. There are some who just permit anything to happen, while others make everything to possibly happen in accordance to their own will. There are some who can’t speak for themselves and therefore were compelled to listen. Just to listen.
There are some who, despite the pain they faced, they managed to smile and take everything; while allowing the other person to continually hurt them.

These are the two faces of life. Which side do you think you belong? Which side do you think you prefer to be? Which side do you think you can live your life? Do you think it’ll be fair to remain insensitive? Or you’ll prefer being the martyr?

"I may be resilient..
I might have overused my smiles and overlooked those tears..
I may seldom speak.. I might have lent always my ears..
I may be considered an automated 'whatever'.. just that automated 'whatever'
but I am that special type of a robot created with a heart...
I get tired and I feel pain too...
because like you, I am human.
Will you care to "listen", "feel", and "see" me too?
For just --- even, once??"

Do you think you will want to live the same life for this another year that is about to start?

Please also visit my other blogs The[un]chef101. And if you have not yet subscribed to my channel My Siesta  please click on the subscribe button and share this video so other people on the same diet can also enjoy this dish. Thank you very much!

The Best Time To Say “I Quit. Goodbye”

Admit it or not, but even if you have determined that you are no longer emotionally attached or concerned about the person, you still can’t get the courage of telling that person directly that you want to end anything between the two of you. There are possible reasons for this. Different people though having the same concerns are actually faced to different reasons. 

You could be someone who believes that the person you love is the best person ever existed and that no one can ever be like her or him. You might be trapped in fear thinking that if you will let go of whatever it is that you have together, there will be not a single soul that you can be with after this relationship. Or maybe you made yourself believe that all you deserve is what you have right now. 

Call it quits. There are so many ways to do that. Be frank, be courteous. There also is a need for you to be sincere and honest. Don’t go around the bush and confuse the person with what you really want to confess. While this can cause them frustrations and depressions, but isn’t it that keeping the relationship for formality and mercy’s sake is more frustrating and depressing? Don’t you think you will be fair to the person by just simply confessing to them how and what exactly you feel?

When? There could be no other perfect and proper timing than soon. If not today, at least not some other time. You will know if you are at the right time. Listen to your heart, weigh your conscience. Study and observe the person. Get to know the possibilities of the plan you are intending to happen. Be prepared of the results and possible consequences for your intention and motives. 

How? Explain things right. Talk directly and never falter. However, this doesn’t mean that you have to be ruthless and rude to the person. If it is impossible for you to make them understand your side, make them feel that you are not just doing this for your sake but for both of you.

Keeping a relationship isn’t just about making you or the other party happy. A relationship is a partnership, therefore it selflessness must be present. There is no sense of keeping it when you know that you are no longer happy. In the same way, that it will be unfair to your partner to make him or her believe that you are still up for them when you absolutely are not.

Please also visit my other blogs The[un]chef101. And if you have not yet subscribed to my channel My Siesta  please click on the subscribe button and share this video so other people on the same diet can also enjoy this dish. Thank you very much!

How Great Is Our God?

Is it really possible to define and describe the greatness of God? How do you know that you have been moved and experienced His greatness? Have you ever been into a situation when you have no other option to turn to but to believe and have faith in Him? Or have you been in a condition when your faith in Him is developed and nurtured? Like what’s the difference between these situations, anyway?

Knowing God and determining His greatness is not just during those times when you experience abundance. His greatness is not only shown whenever you received all of the things that you wished for, own the healthiest bank account, the happiest relationship or possessing the perfect psych. If this is your gauge in determining God’s greatness, then what will happen if you will be introduced to a ruthless and challenging situation? Will you still be able to say that God is great and praise Him despite the storms?

I know a person who was diagnosed with multiple illnesses few days before her 29th birthday. Oh she never had the perfect life either. She has experienced all kinds of depressing scenarios in life and has been faced to several struggles and trials. Despite all of those, she still manages to smile, give advises to people who need it and thank God for everything. She often will say that everything happens for a reason and that all things work together for good.

Until one fine day, while she was so excited for her upcoming birthday, she received a word from her doctor telling her that she has kidney and uterus problems. As she headed back to her apartment from her doctor’s office, her mind went blank. To her, it seems like this is more than life’s fair share. It was only few months from her break up with a long-time relationship and few days before her birthday. Questions popped into her mind. Doubt, uncertainties as well as rage came flashing through. She was asking herself if she deserves all of these. If God hasn’t seen another person living on earth except her? 

Right the moment she arrived at her apartment, she headed to her room shut the door behind her and burst into tears. And in all humility, she knelt down in prayer of awe to her Savior as she mumbles “Dear Lord, with all of my heart I thank you for this early birthday present.”

But of course, she is still suffering from those illnesses. She never asked God to take those away from her. She just asked Him to give her strength to face every day full of pain and treatment and asked Him as well to strengthen her faith in Him.

How great is our God? He is greater than any sickness and trials and struggles and challenges we have, we may have and we can have. How great is our God? He is marvelous that heaven and earth trembles upon hearing His name.

Please also visit my other blogs The[un]chef101. And if you have not yet subscribed to my channel My Siesta  please click on the subscribe button and share this video so other people on the same diet can also enjoy this dish. Thank you very much!

I’m Sorry… I Loved You

I was once in my solace, didn’t really know the world outside. Was just then enjoying and taking pleasure of whatever it is that I have. I never really cared about how and what it is to love someone. I can, but I never really cared at all.

One day, I didn’t realize that among the people in the crowd I “saw” you. You were charming, I should say. Well, have seen set of charming people before. I told myself that I don’t really care. I told myself that if I’ll give it a try to “look” at you one day you will just leave, and I’ll be left alone… alone in my solace again.

I tried hard to not “see” you. I’ve overlooked the fact that I am “hearing” you. I don’t even like the fact that I am “feeling” you. I was afraid. I asked myself if it is possible for me to avoid you whenever time would come that I’d be pushed towards you. I didn’t get an answer for that. I wasn’t just sure. 

So now I am in. Trapped. Tangled. Imprisoned. I wanted to let lose, but I really don’t want to. This thing that you’ve caused me is confusing. It’s something that I can call “complication”. I seek for remedy. For a possible solution. However, I always ended back to you.

Hey, I’m sorry.. I didn’t mean it. It wasn’t really my intention to “see you”… to “hear you”… to “feel you”. I’m sorry that I’ve come to love you.

Please also visit my other blogs The[un]chef101. And if you have not yet subscribed to my channel My Siesta  please click on the subscribe button and share this video so other people on the same diet can also enjoy this dish. Thank you very much!

"Dance With My Father"

Certainly a meaningful song that every daughter around the world will be moved while listening to it.
And I am one of them.

I have heard of this song some months ago. It seemed like very popular that most of the people that I know of are talking about it. I don’t belong to those people who would prefer to listen classic or slow songs. Despite I am a woman, and I know most of the women my age would love to listen to such song genre, I am different. My choices include heavy metal, rock, alternative rock and any loud music. I am different.

Anyhow, just a while ago I was working on my papers when this song came across my mind. Thought of maybe hearing it again, closer this time with lyrics on. So, I searched on the internet for a video of the song with its lyrics on. Well, I remember I was busy with my work so instead of reading through the lyrics, I had my headset on and listen to it as it was played while continuing on my work.
My mind was focused on my computer screen.. that’s what it was before I really “started” listening to the song. I was taken aback as my ear started to “digest” each word from the lyrics.


Back when I was a child
Before life removed all the innocence
My father would lift me high
And dance with my mother and me and then….


These lines bring me back to my childhood. Back then when everything was so real. Everything was so ideal. Everything was oh so perfect. I didn’t really get a chance to dance with my Dad. Unfortunately he left us for another woman when I was about 16 years old. But I had the best childhood memories with him.

I never really get a chance to dance with my father. My-used-to-be-super hero. However, I had the best playmate in him. He taught me how to play a toy gun, assemble a toy car, kick a soccer ball and punch a traitor’s face.

I never really get a chance to have my father as my first dance on my debut. Not only because I never really had the real debut (cotillion) party but because of the fact that even if I had, dancing with him and having him as my first dance would be very impossible.


If I could get another chance
Another walk
Another dance with him
I’d play a song that will never ever end
How I’d love love love
To dance with my father again…..

Again, I never really had a chance to dance with my Dad. But we often had the best talk. Despite my very young age that time, Daddy used to talk to me as if I was just his age. He taught me anything about guns, relationships, men, world,.. just all about real things.

When I and my mother would disagree
To get my way I would run from her to him
He’s make me laugh just to comfort me
Then finally make me do
Just what my Mama said…..

I remember back then when I was still a student. Mother, being the one so concerned about future and studies would really want us to excel in school. Modesty aside, I was able to keep flying grades every year. I always have the top or the second to the top rank in class. Mama was very proud of that. Dad was too.

There was once when I failed to get into the same rank. I can see how mother’s face turned red when he heard my name called last. I was on my way going to the stage to get my ribbon, but Mother didn’t make a single move at all to come up on stage and pin my ribbon like what she usually does. I know I disappoint her. All of a sudden, someone stood up and went up the stage and pinned my 13^th honor ribbon for me. He even whispered saying “Good job, kid. Keep it up!”


If I could steal one final glance
When final step
One final dance with him
I’d play a song that will never ever end
‘Cause I’d love love love to
Dance with my father again…..

Well, if I can turn back time I still will prefer not to take the chance to dance with my Dad. I still will want to have it the same way as I had with him before. I’d still take the same memories.

Pap’s, this post is for you. You might not get a chance to read this (you don’t really care to give time to read any article), but still I’d like you to know that I am still your little darling, the one you used to play and laugh and talk with before… Thanks for the memories!

Please also visit my other blogs The[un]chef101. And if you have not yet subscribed to my channel My Siesta  please click on the subscribe button and share this video so other people on the same diet can also enjoy this dish. Thank you very much!

Parents’ Separation: A Daughter's Perspective

Let me be me on this blog. Since there is no way that a person can clearly deliver his or her thoughts if done indirectly, then maybe this time I want to speak in my behalf.

Yes, I am one of those whose parents are separated; divorced, legally separated, living apart… you can call it by your own terms and definition. Well, they all mean the same – a broken family.

I was 15 years old, few months before I’ll turn 16 when Mom and Dad finally agreed to separate. We don’t have divorce here in the Philippines, only annulment of marriage (whatever their difference is, I don’t really care). But either way, my parents are separated. 

Although it is now vague to me whenever I think about those days when we are still a “family”, I’d still love to rekindle and reminisce the past. 

My parents are not rich. We are not rich. Dad used to be the “home-buddy” and in charged to take good care of me and sister when we were very young. My mother is the one working for the family. After several years, my father has to work and became a police officer. 

But since, Daddy has been staying with us most of the times that I became more inclined to being close to him. He was like a hero to me. He taught me a lot of things that mother prohibit me to try like playing with the kids in the neighborhood, try eating some street foods and get involved in some fights! My father taught me to be tough, to be a fighter. Mother on the other hand taught me everything that I need to know about God, being good to other people, respect, obedient and all of the stuff that I can learn at school from A to Z and 1 to infinity. She’s the soft sweet one. Dad’s the opposite.

I know my Dad so well. Of course, he’s my best friend and my hero. I know all of those that he’s been doing. But I am sure, Mom is pretty much aware about those too. Well, I guess my Dad was just born a womanizer. I have to call him “Uncle” if he’s faced with a sexy and gorgeous lady. I need to pretend I don’t care. At a very young age, I’ve learned how to wear a mask and how to wear a fancy smile. Dad indirectly taught me that too.

I didn’t really care. All I care about is I have a family and my father is living with us. I didn’t know, Mom was thinking the same. There were a lot of things that happened. Several secret fights between my parents have taken place. I know. I can feel it even if they are hiding it from us. I know something is wrong and one day so soon, they’ll call it quit. 

I was 15 years old… just few months more and I’ll turn 16 when Dad left. It broke my heart to see him go along with his stuff. It’s as if I saw my super hero fade away and will never come back.

Since then I no longer celebrate Christmas, New Year and Birthdays. And I started to hate December, January and my birth month. I hate even a Christmas Tree’s silhouette. It reminds me of those times when my parents set up the tree together. Every time I look at guys I am seeing devils and it feels like I want to choke them to death. I hate it when I’ll see a father and his child enjoying moments together. I hate it when I’ll see a family attending mass together. 

I understand how important it is to make a decision even if it means so much pain. Especially if the resulting pains are the remedy to end those existing pains. I love my parents. And as much as I want to, how I wish I can have my family back. However, that’s impossible now. Dad has another family. Mother stayed single with us but is currently enjoying her life. And it looks like both of them are happy now. That’s all that matters to me – my parents are happy.

Please also visit my other blogs The[un]chef101. And if you have not yet subscribed to my channel My Siesta  please click on the subscribe button and share this video so other people on the same diet can also enjoy this dish. Thank you very much!