Off To My Fantasy Land

When I was a child, I thought real life Princes and Princesses don’t exist – thought they were just some book writers and movie scriptwriters’ imagination. Funny though –I then believe in “they live happily ever after”.

Those were the days when dreaming and imagining that my own Prince would come to my rescue happens; just like how Princesses from the movies are rescued by their own Princes. And my imagination goes on with an ending of me and my Prince “living happily ever after”.

I had those imaginations stuck within me for years until one day I realized that I need to wake up to the reality and leave my fairy fantasy land behind.

Unlike however some other kids my age, I don’t believe in the existence of Santa Claus. Not because I live in my own imaginary fairy land (where gnomes, Prince, Princesses and dwarfs were the only characters –no Santa Claus is to be found) but because my parents told me that Santa Claus is people’s “imaginary gift giver and wish grantor” for kids who have been playing their good characters all year round. They told me that Santa Claus is just actually Mommy and Daddy dressed in that funny red suit with awful beards (that most of the times don’t look appropriate on them) and would tip toe at the middle of the night when everybody’s at their deep sleep to put their gifts under the tree. Guess my parents were being too mean to have that wildest imagination a normal child could bear busted for me. The good side however, there wasn’t a Christmas that my parents would skip in putting up a tree together. Every year I am seeing different styles and designs for a Christmas tree –designed of course by my mother and with the help of my father have the thing up.

As years passed however, the need to put off the belief of a “merry” Christmas must be considered. Guess my childhood wasn’t as fantastic as what other kids my age have. Since my parents separated a decade and some years ago, I stopped believing in Christmas. I told myself that Christmas, like Santa Claus is just most people’s imagination of entertaining themselves and making themselves believe that there is this certain season of the year for humanity to celebrate and enjoy.

I grew up as a bitter person full of questions and frustrations. I wonder why other kids were given the privilege of having a real and complete family –with Mom and Dad around. Then I told myself that one day, I’ll have someone that will love me –someone I can call mine. And together we’ll build our “complete, happy family”. Someday –in my wildest dreams. In my own fantasy land.

Now I’m old enough to realize what’s real from dream, what’s hallucination from imagination. It’s ironic to think that as I’ve realized and learned that Princes and Princesses were actually real (and some exists in Europe) that I have stopped believing in “living happily ever after”. I think this has something to do with what happened to my parents’ marital relationship. Although I know that my parents’ story don’t define my life’s own story, but only Lord knows how their separation struck me –bull’s eye!

I however didn’t give up in love. I did have past relationship that lasted for over a decade; unfortunately with someone not so deserving of my trust. But I let bygone by bygone and open another window for another chance. Whatever and wherever will my present relationship will lead to, I know that while Prince and Princesses are real the “living happily ever after” part will happen at the right time, with the right person. And if this relationship that I have is with the right man, then I’d be sure to someday (if when, I can’t tell) spend the rest of my life with him in the real world –and not only in my own imaginary, fantasy land.

Please also visit my other blogs The[un]chef101. And if you have not yet subscribed to my channel My Siesta  please click on the subscribe button and share this video so other people on the same diet can also enjoy this dish. Thank you very much!

How To Work On This Type Of Relationship

If you are reading this article and (is or was) in a relationship with someone from the other country (in a more decent term –foreigner), then I guess we might agree at some facts about dealing with the said relationship. Don’t speak a word yet if you are not one of us, mull over and read through this write up –see for yourself the “complications” and “challenges we have been facing.

The introduction and advancement of today’s technology has somehow provided both advantages and disadvantages to the end users (although overrated are the advantages). I am talking about the innovative gadgets, communication media and some other obvious technological advancement available today. These things weren't only used in gathering information –that is either for educational, recreation or work-related purposes (especially to the students, working professionals, learners and hobbyist) but also have provided great means of bridging the communication between two separate parties.

The internet has played the most crucial and significant role in this avenue. Not only this can be used in collecting information (researches), advertisements and businesses –some people benefit from its free of charge call features. Name any possible call options (with or without cam) that you can think and the internet has it all.

These made it possible for two different people coming from different locations of the world of different races meet, talk, and fall in love and then… fall apart?? The answer is the big YES. While “falling in love” and getting a relationship can sometimes be too slow (depends on how motivated and compelled you are in getting one), the recently available modernization of technology can channel such need.

There are various ways to have a “virtual” relationship. The most common (and unrivaled) means are through considering dating websites, social networks and chat rooms. With the hundreds of thousand subscribers (or members) from these sites, the rate of chances in “finding” your match is high. The downside however will be the issues of the website’s reliability and efficacy, the person’s fidelity and truthfulness as well as the risk of getting scammed or fooled. A month-long of knowing the person you met from these sites is not enough to finally decide that you are into a something legit enough to be called a “relationship”.

However, there were countless claims or successful relationship from online dating sites. And mind you, I've known a lot of friends that considered that approach! While I am one of those people who have a very long distance (thousands of miles if that’s enough to define the term) relationship, mine is different. I didn't meet him from any of these websites. We were introduced by a mutual friend. The courtship went fine (I guess both of us was able to adjust from each other’s differences) although there were times when complications and issues are unavoidable.

To those who weren't familiar with what I am talking about, here below are some of the possible issues that would rise within a relationship of two people separated by distance but also by some other components. Such issues could be something about:

·         Tradition, Religion And Culture. Even the smartest person will become dumb whenever a clash of culture and tradition is the concern. You certainly can’t argue with your partner about their nation’s practices and in the same manner will you not let them argue with yours. No one will ever prefer to get criticism regarding their belief. The motto would be “mind your own business”.

·         Lifestyle. While this might be impossible but this follows with the previous. Same manner, you can’t change your partner’s way of living their life (not unless if they voluntarily do it for your pleasure –congratulations to you!)

·         Social Status And Profession. Believe me or not, but this counts too. Say, how are you going to possibly deal with someone who can’t even take a grasp of what you were trying to say all because to her or him you are talking jargon when you actually are not. If you are a lawyer from another country, and your partner’s a lawyer from his or her country –there is no way will you talk about law since your countries abide from different sets of law! Neither will you make the person feel that you are far wealthier than him or her (although this never really happens often but there were cases when inadvertently you made him or her feel less).

·         Age Gap. Pacing is important here. You can’t just talk about Theodore Roosevelt to someone who was born 10 years after Mr. Roosevelt was killed! Expect to see the person grasping for some air as he or she is trying to understand everything you were trying to relay. In the same manner will you discuss about Britney Spears to a person who was born during Monroe’s time.

·         Communication Gap. I think this should be place on top of all of these factors. There were some slang (terms and words) used by different countries. And based on my experience, regardless of how I tried to understand what my man was talking about, I still was left blank and empty headed that I have to ask him to explain it to me. Call me half wit (it’s up to you) but not all foreign slang can be understood by everybody.

I guess what I am trying to say is that challenges, trials and issues are normal in a relationship. However, the tension would double for those people who come from different races, nations and beliefs. The best thing to do is to observe respect, extend patience, be open to understand and never forget to talk things out. Being upfront to each other really helps. Trust is another factor that needs to be enhanced as well.

Please also visit my other blogs The[un]chef101. And if you have not yet subscribed to my channel My Siesta  please click on the subscribe button and share this video so other people on the same diet can also enjoy this dish. Thank you very much!

The Best Time To Say “I Quit. Goodbye”

Admit it or not, but even if you have determined that you are no longer emotionally attached or concerned about the person, you still can’t get the courage of telling that person directly that you want to end anything between the two of you. There are possible reasons for this. Different people though having the same concerns are actually faced to different reasons. 

You could be someone who believes that the person you love is the best person ever existed and that no one can ever be like her or him. You might be trapped in fear thinking that if you will let go of whatever it is that you have together, there will be not a single soul that you can be with after this relationship. Or maybe you made yourself believe that all you deserve is what you have right now. 

Call it quits. There are so many ways to do that. Be frank, be courteous. There also is a need for you to be sincere and honest. Don’t go around the bush and confuse the person with what you really want to confess. While this can cause them frustrations and depressions, but isn’t it that keeping the relationship for formality and mercy’s sake is more frustrating and depressing? Don’t you think you will be fair to the person by just simply confessing to them how and what exactly you feel?

When? There could be no other perfect and proper timing than soon. If not today, at least not some other time. You will know if you are at the right time. Listen to your heart, weigh your conscience. Study and observe the person. Get to know the possibilities of the plan you are intending to happen. Be prepared of the results and possible consequences for your intention and motives. 

How? Explain things right. Talk directly and never falter. However, this doesn’t mean that you have to be ruthless and rude to the person. If it is impossible for you to make them understand your side, make them feel that you are not just doing this for your sake but for both of you.

Keeping a relationship isn’t just about making you or the other party happy. A relationship is a partnership, therefore it selflessness must be present. There is no sense of keeping it when you know that you are no longer happy. In the same way, that it will be unfair to your partner to make him or her believe that you are still up for them when you absolutely are not.

Please also visit my other blogs The[un]chef101. And if you have not yet subscribed to my channel My Siesta  please click on the subscribe button and share this video so other people on the same diet can also enjoy this dish. Thank you very much!